Dear You,
I remembered yesterday (technically this morning at like midnight but I count that as yesterday as I hadn't gone to sleep yet) that I was exactly halfway through the first month in my Happiness Project and wanted to write about it! I think it's important to check in with yourself to see how you're doing, whether you're working on happiness or not, and evaluate things to improve. I have to do it in writing because sometimes I genuinely do not know what I'm thinking or I'm going to write until I write it.
So… the month of productivity. Does productivity make one happy? I think it can contribute. My specific parts of productivity haven’t specifically made me happy but I do notice an effect.
I’ve found that when I wake up early I have time to enjoy a nice, drawn out, relaxing breakfast to read or watch a TV show that no one else in my family watches. Then I spend a couple hours writing, usually one hour on the blog, one writing songs, and one writing on my computer, stories or thoughts, really anything. This is some of my favorite times of the day because while I love my family I truly enjoy my alone time, my writing time. Writing is my joy in life and having a few quiet, undisturbed hours in the morning to work on it makes me feel really accomplished.
When I don’t write I feel like my life is just a cycle of errands and work that really won’t lead anywhere for me in the future but when I write I feel like I’ve invested in myself and in my future. A future (hopefully) full of writing. And when I get all of my thoughts out and use up all of my creativity and writing power I think I’m much more willing and looking forward to getting through my chores and boring daily things. It doesn’t bother me half as much. This could all be accomplished in the middle of the night (It’s actually 12:23 AM right now, I almost forgot I wanted to write half way marks) but sometimes I get tired at night and give up. However sometimes I sleep in (like this morning, probably why I’m writing in the middle of the night) so I think either time really works to do this, I just have to commit to actually doing one or the other.
I wasn’t very good at finding reasonable times in the afternoon, when no one is asleep and I’m not busy packing, to play guitar but have gotten much better in the past week or so. And I definitely think this has contributed to overall happiness. I love playing guitar and I’ve recently learned 2 new songs that I really love and were really hard to play. I was really excited about this accomplishment however I feel a bit empty, maybe a feeling of unimportance or lack of purpose? Not sure yet but I hope to figure it out soon, it’s a horrible feeling.
Cutting down Netflix has gotten progressively easier. I always watch Netflix shows like Doctor Who by myself and felt rather guilty doing so. I’ve gotten used to spending my relaxation time reading and watching movies with my family. One’s good for my writing and the other for my life, family time is important and this way I’m not killing myself but I’m still being a little productive even while watching movies. Spending time with family and friends will always be a worthy endeavor. I’ve actually gotten really busy with packing so I haven’t watched a single episode in the past few days (not to mention ABC family just played all the Harry Potter movies!).
Keeping up appearances is going really well, I’ve only missed two days so far. This doesn’t mean putting on makeup everyday because most weekdays if I even manage to leave the house it’s probably to pick up milk or pizza or a small errand like that. It just means that I keep up on painting my nails and nourishing my skin and other beauty things that make me feel good. And I have to say that I rather enjoy it, it’s just a really nice feeling.
There are some failures like a day where I watched 5 Doctor Who episodes and 3 days straight that I didn’t practice guitar and a rather sparse “wake up early” column. I’m not perfect and I let myself skip a day or two on some of my resolutions however I’ve noticed some amazing changes. I’m just generally happier, no specific reason. I love playing my guitar everyday and I’m writing more than I ever have before and have learned so much about myself and my writing that I think I’m just generally happier.
I’ve noticed that I’m catching myself when I’m doing things I don’t like in myself and I’m less high-strung. I don’t know if I was above average stressed before but for example I spilled acetone all over my comforter while trying to do my nails an hour ago but I was so happy after watching a good movie with my family, doing a nice, long skin routine, and making a plan to paint my nails and write this tidbit that I really didn’t care. A month ago I can imagine getting all stressed over it but now it seems like such a petty problem. I just threw it in my laundry basket, resolved to do my (already full) laundry in the morning, and grabbed a blanket from downstairs. And I’m genuinely proud of myself for doing so much better.
When I thought of this writing idea yesterday I thought I would end up writing about how I really didn’t feel any happier but I guess after thinking it through I am genuinely, generally happier and I’ve done really good with my resolutions chart with a million tiny stars all over it. I’ve had some shortcomings but I’m happy about how this chance project is coming along and excited about how it will continue to do.
Have an Amazing Day!
Mia B
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