Quote Thoughts

Dear you,

I hope you had a great weekend. This quote seemed like a nice Monday post since writing is one of those things that make Mondays seem a little less horrible.

"Write to write. 

Write because you need to write. 

Write to settle the rage within you. 

Write with an internal purpose. 

Write about something or someone that means so much to you, that you don't care what others think" 

-Nick Miller

At some point in life, writing just became my therapy. It always sheds new light on situations that I'm lost on, like I don't really understand what I'm feeling until I can explain it to a piece of paper, usually in the form of a verse or sung in a chorus. 

Stop slacking off Binx! We need to write!

My favorite line in this quote is the 3rd: write to settle the rage within you

I think I love this one so much because it makes the act of writing seem so natural and freeing. Which is the way I've always looked at writing. When I had an idea so overwhelming swimming around in my head that I knew I wasn't going to be able to continue life until I found a laptop, a notebook, a napkin, anything to write it all down. 

I know that writing isn't everyone's thing but I think everyone needs one of these, something that helps you see things clearly. Writing, reading, talking, running, painting, there are so many forms of this that I find it absolutely astounding. But it is incredibly important that everyone has their thing.

Comment below what yours is!

Have an Amazing Day!

Mia B

If you wanted to be really awesome you could check out my New Youtube Video :)

Thoughts on Songwriting

Dear You,

I wasn't feeling particularly inspired yesterday but I had nothing else to do so I thought it best to work for awhile. I watched some concerts on Youtube, specifically of a song I'm having trouble on, while practicing some chords that I'm horrible at. And heard Ed Sheeran say something along the lines of...

'When you're stuck you have to clean out the clog, just write for awhile and some dirty mud will come out but eventually you'll get clean water, you'll get something good"

Which I thought was brilliant and wrote for quite awhile and then added chords to a bunch of songs (which I've been avoiding) and I'm very proud of how they sound. And I'm proud of how much work I got done but it's not all sunshine and daises. 

I realize that songwriting isn't exactly taken seriously in the world. Some people think I'm just being stupid and others think I'm probably some stereotypical copycat writing horrible teeny-bopper songs. Which maybe I am, I don't know my songs sound to another ear. However it's not as easy as you'd think.

When I work, I'm taking every emotion surrounding a situation and attempting to put in words that sound intelligible, interesting, inspiring, and that rhyme. I have to find chords that are unique yet fit the situation. And taking a thought, a feeling, an event and trying to pair some random guitar chords to it may be one of the hardest things I've ever tried to do. I seriously wanted to throw something.

Songwriting is frustrating and sometimes while doing it, I just want to scream. But I still do it because in the end, creating a song is better than any feeling I could ever describe. It's some mix of proudness and vague interest and curiousness at how I even managed to create something that sounds so nice and sums up something that affected me in something so wonderful as music. 

There's a quote (of course) that sums it up perfectly from one of my favorite authors...

"That's what you gotta find - the things that tear you up when you suck at them, and feel pretty good when you're good at them" -John Green

For me, the only thing that describes is songwriting. Which is why, I'm not going to college this year, why I'm sitting at home writing on a blog, and why I cannot stop smiling right now thinking about the songs I just wrote. I am in love with writing songs. 

What is your thing that "tear you up... and [feels] pretty good"? Leave me a comment below!

Have an Amazing Day!

Mia B

Why I Write Music

Dear You, 

This is my 50th published post on this blog! And I wanted to do something different from my normal posts, something more personal. Since I started this blog because of my passion for music, I decided to write about something dear to me in the world of music: writing

I started writing music shortly after I turned 13, I can't believe it's been 5 years already. I had some problems in life and I needed a way to escape. I am the type of person who refuses to burden others so I tend to internalize my problems. It's a horrible problem of mine but I've never been able to overcome it. 

Around that time I had just become obsessed with Taylor Swift and her music. I wanted to be her so badly, to blend such powerful emotions with my one true love in life: music. I'd been enrolled in as many music programs I was allowed since 5th grade, when music classes were introduced. No matter what program whatever school I went to had, I knew I just needed some kind of music in my life. 

Writing was definitely a learning process. I started with a random notebook (that I still have) on my dad's back deck. I loved the sounds of the birds out there and thought it would be inspirational but that didn't help because my first song was easily my worst, I never even finished it. But as I got older and wiser, my vocabulary and grammar improved, I experienced more, and the songs gradually got better. VERY. GRADUALLY.

Writing for me is much easier when I have a source of pain, it's what drives me in my writing. The strongest emotions are always the best ones. I think it took awhile simply to learn how to bring up that pain and be able to write from it. It's definitely hard to write with passion but is there any other way?

About a month after I started writing lyrics, I had really wanted a guitar. But I didn't want to ask for one because my mom was already paying rent on a saxophone for band class. One of the most amazing coincidences in my life happened, my grandpa had an extra guitar and without me saying one word about it, asked if I wanted it. I couldn't believe it. 

I didn't want to ask for lessons so I practiced on that guitar, all the time. I started with the scales, like my multiple music classes had taught me and built my way into chords. I played the same Taylor Swift song at least 100 times before I mastered singing while playing and the rest is history.

I read a quote recently that you have to find the thing in life that builds you up when you're good at it and tears you up when you're not. For me, that's writing music. I hate when I write a bad song and feel on top of the world when I really like one. I don't even know how I would have gotten through the past five years without writing songs, it feels like such a monumental part of my life. Once I started writing, it's like I knew that's what had been missing the whole time. 

I don't let many people read them and I've never recorded a single one but just because they're not famous doesn't make them unimportant. They're important to me. 

Have an Amazing Day!

Mia B

Also, if you wanted to be the coolest person in the world, you could take a look at my new Youtube video :)

My Happiness Project: July Ending

Dear You,

So if you've been following along with my Happiness Project (inspired by Gretchen Rubin, post here), you'll know I just finished July's resolutions with the theme of productivity!

I finally got moved, I now live in an apartment rather than a house but I genuinely like it so much more. We unpacked almost the entire apartment in a single day and while I still haven't bought any new furniture, everything is pretty much done! Moving was hard but I stayed productive and I'm proud of myself for doing so well. 

Going over some of my resolutions...

Waking Up by 7

My kitty waking up with me

Honestly, I didn't do too well at this. My sister was in town who always wanted me to stay up late and I slept in for awhile. However since she left I've gotten up early everyday, this morning I even went for a run which was really nice. I don't particularly need to but I enjoy waking up this early, the sun was beautiful, the neighborhood was peaceful, I loved it.

Blog posts

I did everyday except for last friday, it was the actual day of the move and while I had every intention of going onto my phone and posting I didn't remember to actually do so until the following morning. However, I have every other weekday this month and it's pretty fun. I love writing on here even if no one ever comments (though I really wish someone would). I'll definitely be continuing to post every weekday morning. 

1+ Hour Writing 

I did really well at this on weekdays until this week, though I'm going to do so later if it's the last thing I do. I've gone a week without writing and I think I'm going insane. 

1+ Hour Guitar

My dream guitar, also $1200, HAHAha...

I was horrible at this in the beginning of the month though I got better later on, I love my guitar and love learning new songs. Playing everyday definitely makes me happier and there's nothing in the world that could make me stop playing. 

Less Netflix

So I was really good at just reading until about a week ago when I started watching Orange is the New Black again. However I'm almost done and then I swear I'm stopping Netflix for awhile. However, I don't know if I'm happier when I'm not watching it. I'm definitely happier when I'm more productive however when I'm in the middle of a show, like right now, forcing myself to abstain just makes me unhappy. I just can't get involved in shows too often. 

Appearances

This is basically like skincare, wearing makeup when appropriate, dressing up (which I love) and paying attention to it has made me happier. I like looking nice and I did really well on it. 

I'm definitely a person who feels like they need to be productive and have something to do. However most of this was just small improvements, I can't tell if I'm actually happy. I'm happy that I live where I do now and that the move is done. I felt really happy this morning while walking back from the gym. I guess I am having more nice moments and while it doesn't seem like much if I learn to stop and smell the flowers I think I am generally happier, at least somewhat. 

What makes you happy? Leave me a comment below!

Have an Amazing Day!
Mia B

Also, if you wanted to be the coolest person in the world, you could take a look at my new Youtube video :)

Quote

Dear You,

During the time that I'm moving you may see an increasing frequency of quote analyzations because I'm getting busy and really tired, packing is hard. However I will post everyday no matter what. So today's quote is one that I wrote on my awesome quote board (a big whiteboard that I keep on my nightstand and change every week)!

"Throughout all of the changes that have happened in my life, one of the priorities I've had is to never change the way I write songs and the reasons I write songs. 

I write songs to help me understand life a little more. 

I write songs to get past things that cause me pain. 

And I write songs because sometimes life makes more sense to me 

when it's being sung in a chorus, and when I can write it in a verse"

-Taylor Swift

I really enjoy this one because I've never wanted to waste my life doing something that made me unhappy. And I feel like I could get caught up in the whole writing-just-to-hope-someone-heard-it and-wanted-to-pay-me-for-it hype. It's really important, at least for me, to remember the message behind this quote.

When I was 13 years old I tried to write a song because "Taylor Swift does it", it was horrible because it was my first song and because I wasn't writing it for the right reasons. A little after I turned 14 my family went through something that specifically caused me a lot of pain and I remember feeling so horrible and picking up a notebook and writing it all down, all my haunting thoughts, all of my tears, all of my pain into words, conceivable rhyming words. This one was still really horrible but it made me feel better and I figured out how to write and I always think back to this specific situation and how it felt after I finished writing and the little girl who finally stopped crying.

I always want to be as innocent a songwriter as I was back then, writing because life hurts or because I really don't understand people and relationships and life most of the time. Sometimes I don't even know how I feel until I write it down and I never want to let those good intentions turn sour. 

Any thoughts? Leave them in the comments below!

Have an Amazing Day!

Mia B

If you wanted to be the coolest person in the world, you could take a look at my new Youtube video :)

My Happiness Project: July Half Way Mark

Dear You,

I remembered yesterday (technically this morning at like midnight but I count that as yesterday as I hadn't gone to sleep yet) that I was exactly halfway through the first month in my Happiness Project and wanted to write about it! I think it's important to check in with yourself to see how you're doing, whether you're working on happiness or not, and evaluate things to improve. I have to do it in writing because sometimes I genuinely do not know what I'm thinking or I'm going to write until I write it.

So… the month of productivity. Does productivity make one happy? I think it can contribute. My specific parts of productivity haven’t specifically made me happy but I do notice an effect. 

I’ve found that when I wake up early I have time to enjoy a nice, drawn out, relaxing breakfast to read or watch a TV show that no one else in my family watches. Then I spend a couple hours writing, usually one hour on the blog, one writing songs, and one writing on my computer, stories or thoughts, really anything. This is some of my favorite times of the day because while I love my family I truly enjoy my alone time, my writing time. Writing is my joy in life and having a few quiet, undisturbed hours in the morning to work on it makes me feel really accomplished. 

When I don’t write I feel like my life is just a cycle of errands and work that really won’t lead anywhere for me in the future but when I write I feel like I’ve invested in myself and in my future. A future (hopefully) full of writing. And when I get all of my thoughts out and use up all of my creativity and writing power I think I’m much more willing and looking forward to getting through my chores and boring daily things. It doesn’t bother me half as much. This could all be accomplished in the middle of the night (It’s actually 12:23 AM right now, I almost forgot I wanted to write half way marks) but sometimes I get tired at night and give up. However sometimes I sleep in (like this morning, probably why I’m writing in the middle of the night) so I think either time really works to do this, I just have to commit to actually doing one or the other.

I wasn’t very good at finding reasonable times in the afternoon, when no one is asleep and I’m not busy packing, to play guitar but have gotten much better in the past week or so. And I definitely think this has contributed to overall happiness. I love playing guitar and I’ve recently learned 2 new songs that I really love and were really hard to play. I was really excited about this accomplishment however I feel a bit empty, maybe a feeling of unimportance or lack of purpose? Not sure yet but I hope to figure it out soon, it’s a horrible feeling. 

Cutting down Netflix has gotten progressively easier. I always watch Netflix shows like Doctor Who by myself and felt rather guilty doing so. I’ve gotten used to spending my relaxation time reading and watching movies with my family. One’s good for my writing and the other for my life, family time is important and this way I’m not killing myself but I’m still being a little productive even while watching movies. Spending time with family and friends will always be a worthy endeavor. I’ve actually gotten really busy with packing so I haven’t watched a single episode in the past few days (not to mention ABC family just played all the Harry Potter movies!). 

Keeping up appearances is going really well, I’ve only missed two days so far. This doesn’t mean putting on makeup everyday because most weekdays if I even manage to leave the house it’s probably to pick up milk or pizza or a small errand like that. It just means that I keep up on painting my nails and nourishing my skin and other beauty things that make me feel good. And I have to say that I rather enjoy it, it’s just a really nice feeling. 

There are some failures like a day where I watched 5 Doctor Who episodes and 3 days straight that I didn’t practice guitar and a rather sparse “wake up early” column. I’m not perfect and I let myself skip a day or two on some of my resolutions however I’ve noticed some amazing changes. I’m just generally happier, no specific reason. I love playing my guitar everyday and I’m writing more than I ever have before and have learned so much about myself and my writing that I think I’m just generally happier. 

I’ve noticed that I’m catching myself when I’m doing things I don’t like in myself and I’m less high-strung. I don’t know if I was above average stressed before but for example I spilled acetone all over my comforter while trying to do my nails an hour ago but I was so happy after watching a good movie with my family, doing a nice, long skin routine, and making a plan to paint my nails and write this tidbit that I really didn’t care. A month ago I can imagine getting all stressed over it but now it seems like such a petty problem. I just threw it in my laundry basket, resolved to do my (already full) laundry in the morning, and grabbed a blanket from downstairs. And I’m genuinely proud of myself for doing so much better. 

When I thought of this writing idea yesterday I thought I would end up writing about how I really didn’t feel any happier but I guess after thinking it through I am genuinely, generally happier and I’ve done really good with my resolutions chart with a million tiny stars all over it. I’ve had some shortcomings but I’m happy about how this chance project is coming along and excited about how it will continue to do. 

Have an Amazing Day!

Mia B

Poem

Dear You,

So in my Tumblring I've come across quite a few amazing poems, it's amazing how many talented poets there are in the world. While there are a million amazing ones, only a few have hit me quite as hard as this one...

I was in tears by the end, because I remember how difficult recovery was. 2 sides of my mind constantly battling between being healthy and being skinny. Because everyone likes the skinny girl, right? Even if the skinny girl hasn't eaten in 12 hours and can barely focus long enough to read a page. Even if the skinny girl can't sleep and can barely talk in the morning. Even if the skinny girl is in one of the worst times of her life, she can never gain weight. So the skinny girl wakes up, tortured, crying day in and day out because she wants to enjoy life so badly but can't because everyone expects her to be perfectly skinny. 

I will never forget that feeling and I don't want to because I remember, and that remembering pushes me onto better days. Days of enjoying a conversation over coffee with lots of milk and sugar in the morning with friends, of savoring my graduation cheesecake with all of my family talking and laughing for hours, of running through Target in my pajamas, on a midnight candy run with my little sister. There are things that taste better than skinny feels, if not for the taste then for the experience. Because I chose to be healthy, for myself and for everyone I care about, for the person I want to be. And that has made so much of a difference.

Have an Amazing Day

Mia B

Legitimacy

Dear You,

At one point in Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project she discusses her choice to become a writer and the doubts she faced in doing so. One of the largest doubts of doing so was the struggle for legitimacy, the feeling of being right or real.

I found this really interesting because it's something that I've struggled with my entire life, I always wanted to be that kid with straight A's so that I felt like I was worth something. I rarely even tell people of my absolute love for writing because of that sad look they give me, like they already think I'm going to fail because my passion has a smaller success rate than something they probably hate doing, calling my love in life a waste of time because it's not something they view as legitimate. 

However I don't think the pursuit of a passion is an unworthy one because in the end it is the pursuit of happiness and that's the entire point of life, right? The things that make you happy aren't a waste of time, they are your calling. I know, the world wouldn't work if everyone pursued their dreams but someone has to try. Writers, artists, musicians, they all change lives through their respective arts and everyone appreciates that so why do we shame those who aspire to inspire us?

Artists should be celebrated and aspiring ones should be given the legitimacy they deserve. Aspiring lawyers aren't given this much grief so why are artists?

Anyways, hope you enjoyed. Comment below with your thoughts!

Have an Amazing Day!

Mia B