What is Love?

Dear you,

I've always wondered what love is exactly. I've loved my family, friends, cat ;) but I've never fallen in love with someone and I've always wondered what it is exactly. You see it in the movies, in the way an old married couple looks at each other, in the unadulterated happiness of a newly engaged couple but what is it? How do people know they're in love?

There is a biological aspect of love, a mix of different chemicals psychiatrists use to describe this overwhelming feeling. And while researching I found several amazing quotes describing the varying symptoms and feelings of love but I'm struggling to find an underlying definition. A meaning to it all. Some grand poetic gesture that describes the seemingly undefinable emotion that so many people spend their lives chasing after.

Deep Affection

The synonyms of affection include infatuation and attraction so saying deep affection doesn't really make sense. Infatuation and attraction themselves are very superficial words, they do not go deeper, they are the superficial feelings when first looking at someone. The feeling before you start to talk to them and realize their favorite color is red and their brother is a magician and that you would do anything to keep talking to them for just a few more hours. Affection is just a word, a thought but I feel like love is so much more. 

Taking a Bullet

I used to believe this but there are selfless people who would take a bullet for almost anyone so does selflessness mean you love everyone? I don't think it does, selfless people have little concern for themselves leading to a heightened concern for others. It's not that they necessarily deeply care about and love every single other person in the world, but if given the choice they usually put themselves in danger to save others. 

Putting Their Happiness First

This is one of the most prevalent and it is very similar to the previous one but I think it's more poetic and defined. This theme was even in the movie Frozen (don't judge, it's amazing) and I think it's definitely an apparent effect in every love but I don't think this singularly defines it. There are several reasons to put someone else's happiness before your own, most adults do it for most kids, regardless if they personally know them or not, it's just a societal and evolutionary action (protect the young). 

Unconditional acceptance

This sounds more like humanistic psychology to me and there are people in the world who hold no prejudices or bias but that doesn't mean they love everyone, they just don't judge, something I want to work more on in my own life. I don't want to work on judging less because I love everyone but because I know it will make me kinder and I think it's a good attribution to have and I know that bettering myself will make me happier. So in the end it's a completely selfish action and has absolutely nothing to do with how much one likes the other person (for me, at least).

In the end, I don't think any of the theories or quotes I found correctly defined love for me. Maybe love is just one of those feelings that are so rooted in the basis of the human experience that it only has synonyms and lacks a true definition and we all just know love when we see it as plainly as happiness or sadness. There is no real definition of sad, but we all know when we see it. Maybe one day I'll find it but for now I think I'll just live in blissful ignorance.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this post and journey through the infinite possibilities of love and even if you completely disagree with me that you were at least thinking because that's all I really hope to do with writing. 

What do you think love is? Tell me in the comments below, I'd love to read!

Have a lovely day!

Mia B <3